28 October 2009

I want you to feel me

It’s a sleepless lonely night
I can’t stop thinking of you
If only you knew
How much I love you
Cold winds blowing around
I’m still awake
Out on the streets
Wandering willy-nilly
Chilled to the bone
Abandoned and alone

It’s a shivering dark night
But can’t freeze my feelings for you
If only you knew
How much I miss you
Up above the frosty sky
I see the sinking moon
Behind the clouds
Braving the winds
The moon resembled me
Desperate and deserted she

It’s a quiet empty night
But I can’t get hold of the silence
If only you knew
How much I need you
Memories keep floating back
I feel you in my heart
Entwined ten fingers
Scream in prayer
Sudden glitter of fireflies
Start making loud cries

I wonder,
If silence has ever been this loud
If night has ever been this empty
If life has ever been this illusive
Oh, my sweetheart!
I am in pain tonight
The sinking moon feels it
The freezing cold feels it
The vanishing cloud feels it
The dying star feels it
But when will you feel me?

(My poems also appear at http://www.poemhunter.com )
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Anonymous said...

one of your most expressive works. Powerful and personal and more than anything, REAL. good work,


Ashesh on October 28, 2009 at 8:26 PM said...

I simply loved the poem!!!!

shail on October 28, 2009 at 11:08 PM said...

I echo the first comment. Simply loved it. The pathos gets across to the reader.
"It’s a shivering dark night
But can’t freeze my feelings for you"
Loved these lines especially! And the last few lines beginning with 'I wonder...' really conveys the pain.
In the last section i wonder if you should be using the word 'the' before 'ife'. Mind you, I am no expert, but I feel it should be "If life has ever been this illusive"

Asha on October 29, 2009 at 12:26 AM said...

Extremly flawless expression in my own perspective , pls keep writing ... thanks !

Anonymous said...

@ Shail, thanks for stopping by and leaving your comments. after a careful revision, I decided to drop the word 'the' before 'life'. Appreciate your suggestion.

Aakar on October 29, 2009 at 7:31 AM said...

wow ! loved this poem...seems like written in a mood...great feelings... :)

Basanta on October 29, 2009 at 8:05 AM said...

Nice one Deependrajee! Very romantic!

Alok said...

Amazing! This is one of the best poems I have come across in quite some time. wonderful flow of expressions. Intense feelings. cheers, my friend! Looking for more.

Manish said...

Dear deependra jee! very best poem. keep writing...... I always like this type of poem. many many thanks to give me grate feeling.

Shahid Mukadam on October 29, 2009 at 11:59 PM said...

ppl say that u have to underplay the emotions a little bit, leave a little more imagination, I ask why?, when emotions are so strong why underplay them, lovely
i liked the line "I wonder,
If silence has ever been this loud?"

Sujan Sharma on October 30, 2009 at 8:14 AM said...

Nice Poem...

apprentice on October 30, 2009 at 8:51 PM said...

Heart-touching! Found this one the best befitting word!

Nava Raj on November 3, 2009 at 11:45 AM said...

It was a bit difficult for me to understand the poem (because I always find poems very difficult to understand in English language). But the indications are one day poet Deependra ji might overcome Power Systems Engineer- Researcher Deependra ji. Keep on!

Anonymous said...

Thank you all for your wonderful feedback. You all have brought smiles on my face by your nice words.

Manish ji, welcome to this blog! your comment came to me as a big surprise :-) I feel so happy that you liked the poem.

Dear Shahid and apprentice, welcome to 'Never Stop Dreaming'! Thank you so much for your beautiful words.

Nava Raj Sir, It's the first time that you commented to my poetry and it feels so good to have your compliment. Thanks for your words, I treasure it, and keep it as a motivation to look beyond.

Before I stop, I would like to thank you all once again. Thanks for all the encouragement.

Nalini Hebbar on December 16, 2009 at 5:45 PM said...

nice to read this sad love poem...the odiogo recital was quite comical, I am sorry to say

Anonymous said...

@ Nalini, thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I'm glad that you liked the poem. Regarding the odiogo option, it's only good for articles but sounds funny in case of poems.

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